Brilliance? Or Dark Shade?

I hate when my mind is like this…

It is a strange and uncanny state of being.

It is like my mind wants to be creative and brilliant, for no reason, but it lacks inspiration, and only thinks ordinary thoughts. Except that it is self conscious of its lack of brilliance, and of its capacity for inspiration. Yet, it cannot make sparks.

Imagine a perfectly formed campfire, pre-flame. The Perfect logs, arranged just so, around a small kindling log cabin, with hyper-dry and flammable tinder. Yet, your Sparker won’t spark, your matches won’t ignite, your lighters are out of fuel. In short, You are perfectly ready to burn if you could simply spark!

I shall leave you with this thought from Howl, by Allen Ginsberg:

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,…”

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