For some reason in our society, it is wrong to be white, straight, and male. The predominate message in our pop culture is that you can be any two of those, as long as the third is something “different”.
<DISCLAIMER: I AM LIKELY GOING TO ANGER MANY PEOPLE IN THE FOLLOWING ESSAY. PLEASE READ TO THE END IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND MY FULL POINT. YOU ARE WELCOME TO DISAGREE, AND IF YOU CHOOSE TO VOICE YOUR OPINIONS, PLEASE DO SO IN A LOGICAL SYSTEMATIC MANNER.>
For Instance, it is ok to be white, straight and female; white, bi/gay, and male; or black (or any other ethnicity), straight, and male. The more “different” you are, the better; with the ultimate being ethnic, gay, and female. Culture preaches against the white straight males.
WSM are viewed in the news, media, art, and pop society as something to revile and abhor for many millennia of travesties and treacheries against minorities, and “lesser” demographics, while treating us as kings; white straight males continue to have the advantage in business and other life-enhancement opportunities. We are more likely to get our way and to turn our ambitions into reality, due to the simple fact that the people already in power are mostly white straight males. Human nature creates microcosms of similarity, under the physics principle: “like attracts like”.
What we are then left with is white straight males feeling bad about what we are, and taking advantage of a system skewed in our favor. The more our identity is attacked, ridiculed, and lampooned; the more we retreat deeper into a sense of security which we find in others like us – which in turn strengthens the glass ceiling no matter what affirmative action, and feminist legislation attempts to do. By yelling their points of view loud and long (effectively doing what the “Occupy Wall Street” movement is doing) under the name of protesting, they cause the status quo to put in earplugs to drown out the clammer, thus diminishing the chances of a fruitful dialog even taking place.
Instead, the best way to enact change is quietly, subversively from within. When one excellent person gets into a position of power on their own merits, slowly they change hearts and minds, and bring other like caliber individuals up the ranks. Excellence breeds excellence, regardless of age, creed, color, orientation, and ideology.
I am a feminist, insofar as I desire opportunity equality for all genders (though I reject the position that society should treat men the way women used to be treated – that doesn’t fix anything and only exacerbates the problem). I am in favor of inclusive marriage rights and sexual equality for all orientations. I am in favor of racial equality, insofar as much as equal caliber people being given equal opportunities, regardless of Race.
I am against retributive action against whites, straights, or males, and I am against tipping the scale in favor of any demographic. No one should be punished for their physical characteristics, or born identity. (Do not take this statement too far; People should be punished for their choices – even if they are derived from Insanity, genetics, or drugs). People should be allowed to rise to the top of their capabilities, or at least as far as their ambitions can carry them.
However, we must stop and evaluate here: Not everyone is born equal. Everyone has certain skill sets and potentials based upon native predilections and inherent inborn attributes that determine to some degree the highest capabilities and level to which one’s ambitions can motivate.
This being said, not everyone has the same life-enhancement opportunities such as higher perspective world views, greater horizons, education, business opportunities, artistic means of expression, access to global information or the frameworks to utilize the information available, and so forth.
Let’s take a critical look at each demographic, and evaluate the challenges toward them and creating an equal society.
The greatest challenge to racial equality is Poverty; ergo Education. In short, specialized education in targeted areas is essential to uplifting the poorest parts of society, which also is disproportionately ethnic in nature. However, a fundamental worldview cripples the education system from within the hearts and mind of students: a lack of desire to learn stemming from the mistaken belief that certain levels of math and science, art and literature, philosophy and english don’t matter and are not essential to acquiring a job.
This world view could not come at a worse time in history: there is more information necessary to understand and have a grasp of in order just to be functional in society. In order to be welcomed into the upper/middle and upper classes, people must have a certain level of comprehension about the whole world, and the various facets. The great irony is that this is also the point in history where the most information is the most easily accessible to anyone who desires it! The act of thirstily ingesting all learning develops world views and character traits necessary to moving through and interacting with and succeeding in the higher points of society, as well as the information sets necessary to garner respect and power. Education of the masses will never succeed unless a desire to learn and a motivation to better ones self is cultivated at an early age, and the inherent laziness that is haphazardly sown and grows unchecked in the hearts and minds of America‘s youth is stymied. Unfortunately, many minorities tend to be poor, and have these attitudes toward learning. This laziness is only worsened by a sense of self-entitlement which creates a lethal cocktail that drowns the bottom 50% of society.
The greatest challenge facing women today is the “Bitch” and “Slut” role models. As long as women fold themselves into one of these molds, they can never advance themselves to the heights that some dream.
Women believe that they must be a “Bitch” to achieve anything. This leads to women that run “rough-shod” all over everyone and treat people poorly. They over-compensate for their inner-insecurity by hyper-projecting a strong woman personality. The strongest women are just strong, like the strongest men are just strong. Look at Opera, Martha Stewart, Sandra Bullock, Betty White, Michelle Obama, Barbara Bush etc. These women have poise, class, and are every bit as successful and powerful as any man, and they didn’t have to be a bitch, or slut to do it. The Alpha Female does exist, in a healthy capacity, and should not be read as synonymous with “bitch”. The unhealthy tendency in young women is to confuse the concept of poised, driven Alpha women with the concept of being a “bitch”.
Men will never respect bitchy women. In fact, other women rarely respect bitchy women, looking constantly for ways to undermine and subvert the emotional bully. The bitch is just the female version of a bully, and no one likes a bully.
The sexual revolution freed woman is “free” to sleep with whoever she wants. However, Society will never respect women who sleep around. Society will never condemn Men who do. The reason for this is that women do not respect themselves when they sleep around, sniping and attacking those who do. Men congratulate each other on each “conquest”. Many women resent the double standard, blaming men as the problem, when in reality it is women’s own attitudes toward each other that debilitate that freedom. Straight men will almost never condemn sexually loose women (except their own daughters and wives). An interesting point to note is that women who enjoy the game of seduction and sex actually gain much more respect from men, than women who merely use sex as a tool to ladder climb. Men tend to respect how well the game is played, no matter who is playing – even if it is a begrudging respect.
Another difficulty that women face is an over-emphasis of appearance, to the detriment of personality and intelligence. Women use appearance and beauty to contrive a loose social hierarchy.
Bitchy beautiful motivated ambitious women who know how to bully and emotionally terrorize the other women stand at the top of the female social order. Hierarchy roughly filters down from there, though Beauty always bumps a girl higher up the social order. Women value beauty, because men desire it, and women find validation and value in being valued. They more highly the perceived social value, the higher position hierarchal attainable. Sexual promiscuity creates the illusion of masculine desire, and artificially raises her prestige among men, who don’t respect her, while undermining her status among women, who despise her.
Men will always desire beauty, due to a evolutionary and biological imperative, but also because “having” a beautiful woman bumps his status up a mark or two as well. Beauty is as much about perceived value as the stock market. Social status raises and falls accordingly.
Men should not be chastised for observing, appreciating, and enjoying beauty; for a man’s sex drive tends to be the motivational force in his side of a Relationship and the primary effective force in the continuance of the species. If men didn’t desire women’s appearance, humanity would likely cease to exist, for men strongly dislike dealing with all of the emotional baggage that comes with women. Due to differing sexual peaking ages between the genders, by the time women’s nesting and maternal instincts kick in, men typically are looking to settle down and have an adult relationship. If men lacked their sex drive, they would never accomplish anything: Testosterone and Aggression are necessary facets of a man’s approach to life. They cause him to take risks, and “put him self out there”. The same risk taking behavior applies to relationships. Society asks men to take all of the risks, being proactive, and allows women to take a much more passive seat, approving or “green lighting” all advances, or in turn “red lighting” unwanted advances. Without sexual attraction, men would never channel their risk taking behavior toward women. Instead If men didn’t desire women, they would have little use for them, and those risk taking behaviors would likely cause most men to die young without out the motivation and concern for others outside themselves. Without sexual attraction, Straight Men and Women cannot be friends. Straight Men are usually only friends with women that they like to look at, or desire other things from, whereas Women’s basis for friendship is mostly emotional in nature – though obviously there are elements of both emotions and sexual attraction in both sides of the relationship.
Let me make a Hasty Generalization here: the more beautiful a woman is, the less intelligence and personality she tends to have. She also tend to be a spoiled, self-entitled “princesses”, who expect everyone to do things for her and take care of her like a child, but then demands to be respected as a high-functioning adult. Observe the way they go through life making whimsical demands that change like the spring winds; whatever they fancy – they must have, and having received it, quickly lose interest. If they don’t receive the object of their desire, a temper tantrum, or dramatic outburst will quickly ensue.
This is why the Bitchy Beauty will never be a “10”, but can only be a “8” or “9”. She must be able to run into women more beautiful than her, and feel insecure enough to compensate by developing a personality, social skills, and a ruthless intelligence.
Women’s personality then tends to be linked to their appearance. Certain appearance levels tend to have certain traits, though any level of attractiveness can have any personality.
In summary, Women’s emphasis and preoccupation with beauty contributes to Bitchy and Slutty Role Models – the emulation of which will fundamentally undermine the perception of Women by themselves and Men, and continuously contribute to the degradation and limitation of women in society.
The third area of people that are under-represented and disenfranchised is the homosexual community, a group of people near to my heart. I have dated two women who are Bi, and many of my friends and colleagues in recent years have been at various points on the homosexual range. I would even go so far as to say that very few people are entirely straight, or entirely gay. I am also very pro marriage equality. However, this is not about my feelings upon the topic, but a critical look at society and societies treatment of individuals who consider themselves gay.
Society at large has been very hostile toward homosexuality until recently. We have made great strides as a Global community in tolerance and embrace, though we still have far to go. Homosexuals come from all walks of life, race, creed, and background. They climb to all heights of the socio-economic, religious, and political ladders. Typically, in polite society, orientation is not an issue – especially in California or the New England states. We are on the cusp of a true equality with proper legislation around the corner.
The biggest risk that the homosexual community runs is pushing too far, and over running the balance rather than trying to gently balance the system. The momentum of the movement has greatly gained speed, and is promising positive change. The conservatives have already lost, and most are willing to compromise, no matter how begrudgingly. The trick is to strategically win, in such a way that a new status quo – that is fair and balanced for everyone – can be erected.
In many cases around the US, straight people are beginning to feel like they are over-imbued with a “pro-gay” message. Adolescent straight men frequently are “harassed” by adolescent gay men, the same way that Adolescent straight men hit on women. I can recall being “propositioned” several times in college by a couple of my friends, or acquaintances. While I am always flattered, I politely turned down each man, the same way I turn down an ugly girl: “You just aren’t my type” – My type being beautiful women. Yes, I say that partially tongue-in-cheek.
This openly antagonistic behavior is causing many straight men to be uncomfortable through direct experience, which can exacerbate any latent fears, or misinformation already embedded. The best thing gay men can do is to just be friends with straight men. That allows them to become comfortable with the idea, because gays become people to them, and cease being caricatures.
Gay men also need to understand that gentle teasing is a part of straight male culture, and they will receive light joshing on the topic. Humor allows men to approach an uncomfortable topic, assess it, and escape “undamaged”: it is a defense mechanism. Men joke and tease each other wherever there is weakness perceived. Men love to one up each other, and each joke bumps us up or down the social ladder. Gay men must learn to take the jokes in stride and joke back appropriately. They must become one of the guys. Making new friends is no more difficult for them than it is for anyone else trying to make new friends. However, they may be more sensitive to the joking and to the rough way that most men treat each other. They must “toughen up”. There is nothing wrong with being artistic, fashion conscious, and sensitive in general – and most men could benefit from a little more emotional sensitivity – but everyone needs to have a certain level of “thick skin”, that seems to be lacking in the majority of young gay men. I will note that older (over 27) gay men seem to toughen up a bit, and learn much more masculine social grace in age. However, demographically the vast majority of homosexual people are young, and need to grow into themselves and a mature understanding of their identity in the social fabric.
A strength of the pro-gay movement has been strong love-able pop culture figures, such as Kurt in “Glee”, or Teddy Montgomery in “90210”. This allows people to emotionally connect with characters that represent a people group that they fear, or irrationally dislike, without ever coming into contact. This is doing the same thing that strong black characters have been doing for the last 35 years in response to the racial equality movement. Media brings people groups into homes, night after night. People establish relationships with characters, which act as a half-way point, eventually allowing people to feel comfortable establishing relationships with real people. When the majority of voters have gay friends, or know someone who is gay, then real change can happen in politics, since it will be relationally based in the majority. Change the hearts of the masses, and the policies will change.
Family Guy may have jokingly and unwittingly hit upon the right concept when Brian hearkens back to a time before “the gays were all up in your face about it”. The central problem facing the gay community is bad press, which is slowly changing. The more quality art, film, dance, music, etc that connects with people, the more open our society will be toward alternate orientations and genders. The more quality characters that people love, the more open people will be. It also will just take a generation growing up: our grandparents were much more racist than our parents, just as our parents are much more homophobic than we are. We are much less racist than our parents, and our children will be much less homophobic than we are.
I hope that you have made it thus far, and haven’t been so irate to ignore my closing remarks. However, I have likely angered nearly everyone at this point: young and old; white and everyone else; gay or straight and everything in between; and men, trannies, and women – But I have probably angered everyone equally. I am a White, Straight, Man. What right do I have to talk about any of these other demographics? The same right that they have to criticize mine. We are all people, and we are all born equal. White is not better than another race. Men are not better than women. Straight is not better than Gay. White is different than black, or hispanic, or asian. Each race has different tendencies, cultures, and world views. Men are different than women. Each gender has strengths and weaknesses. Straight is different than Gay. Each orientation has strengths and weaknesses, though breeders are inherently necessary to society’s continuance. (The validity, ethics, and morality of humanity’s continued existence is a debate for another day.) We should each be proud of who we are, and tolerate all other identities. Hate makes everyone weak. Tolerance allows for peaceful cohesion. Love allows for Strength -Strength through Diversity.